Saturday, April 11, 2009 . 5:22 PM

Yesterday I had a nice (weird) dream. :)
I found someone who loved me and I loved him as well.
I shouldn't be minding the fact that he was younger than me, should I?
Let's call him T ^^;;
I had a child whom T rescued from a fire.
But in the end, people wanted to take T away from me...
And I woke up with fear and tears TT
Anyway... that's a great dream over all...
I had my first kiss again... -.-;;
And it was... well...
Intense I guess... =.=''

Friday, April 10, 2009 . 10:22 PM

It's been a long time since I last updated...
And well, come to think of it, my last post was also somehow trashy...
I didn't know what to write because I didn't know how I should have been to the world.
Maybe it's a bit late to realize how easier and faster I could overcome unpleasant things.
But anyway, I'm feeling the need to voice out my mind again...
And maybe nobody would read this post...
But at least, I'm trying
There are things I keep wondering about
Things about myself, my family, the world that I see from my eyes
And I'm still looking for the answers
Maybe time would pass by faster while I'm looking
But isn't it supposed to be the way I am?
Because I can choose who I would become tomorrow... or three years from now on, I would be someone I want to be...
Not someone I have to be... yeap, I hope so.
I met someone from the opposite sex. And I suddenly feel weird...
It feels like fear.
Like...
It's neither that I was thinking too much, fearing too much or thinking less of myself too much.
But at the same time, I know that even when somebody tells me that I'm useless, and I'm a person of no good, I'm still proud of myself.
Proud of the fact that I have a great family.
Of the fact that I'm learning Korean all by myself.
Of the fact that I have lively and interesting dreams every night.
Of the fact that sometimes I remember something about Old European history that my classmates couldn't remember.
Even of someone tells me I'm an arrogant and ignorant person
I just can't stop seeing and knowing that in my world, I'm the one who choose to have and not have what could have been around me.
I see how my future will be. Bright and pleasant because I will refuse to see only the dark and unpleasant side of it.
Even if there isn't really God. I know that my heart is the God I should follow.
And the smile and happiness road is where I should walk.
Just one more thing to be said to whoever is reading this post:
Have a nice day ^^